Cutting Ties?
by Colored Sabotage
Summary: When the Bakers go on a trip to Lake W., Sarah & Jake are as close as ever. But as secrets unfold, what will happen to them? They're starting to drift........ but what if its permanent? Rated T just in case!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1- Night driving, pushing, and an angry older brother.**

Sarah POV

We are in the van, on the way to the old Lake Winnetka place. Dad said something about family bonding. Right. We left at night, so we could get there earlier. I just woke up, and I was leaning on Jake's shoulder, Mike was leaning on me. A lot of people think us to be twins, (me and Jake) but that's not true. Actually, Jake's a year older than me. But he will always be my favorite sibling, Mike running a close second. I looked out the window, and my move woke Jake. He looked at me and smiled, though he thought I didn't see.

"What are you looking at?" I gave him a playful shove, and he bumped into Henry. Good thing my older brother is a deep sleeper. He shoved me back, which jolted Mike, who shoved us again, and my stupid seatbelt unbuckled, which made me go sprawling across Jake and Henry. Which definitely woke Henry up.

"SARAH GET OFF ME!!"

"It wasn't me, it was my seatbelt!" I protested. He didn't buy it. Which isn't surprising. I like to play pranks on my family, but for a prank, that's really lame. He should know if I was gonna get him I would've taken his clarinet and done something to it. Hmm......

"She's right Henry, she's got the bad 'belt." Jake and Henry were having one of those silent "You always take her side" face offs now. It happens often. Meanwhile, everyone else was getting up.

"What is your problem?!" Kim asked, turning around. Jess was rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah" she said to Henry, "I mean why'd you yell like that?"

"It was Sarah!" he said. "I mean here I was sleeping, and she lands in my lap!"

"So you think I did that on purpose?!" I screeched. I was tired, unlike the rest of my family I'm not good with sleeping in cars.

"Dudes, chill." Jake gave me the _this isn't worth it _look, and gave Henry his _drop it look._ God I love Jake. He's so awesome.

I turned to the window, with a stony silence following. By now, everyone was up, and doing something. Henry started playing his clarinet, Jess and Kim were randomly quizzing each other, and Mike, Nigel, and Kyle were playing with their bow and arrows. Even Mark was talking to his new frog, Jim. Only Jake and me were silent. I leaned against him, and heard him sigh.

"Are you alright?" I sat up, and looked at him.

"I'm fine Sarah." I gave him a knowing look. He sighed, and said, "Sarah. Really, I'm fine." I dropped it, for now, but I knew I could make him crack tonight.

"KID'S WELCOME TO LAKE WINNETKA!!" He was pulling into the driveway/dirt road, and was already getting out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2- Renting, Cookies, and Complications**

As we all got out, Mark said, " It looks so much smaller!"

Mike looked over, across the lake. "Whoa"

I looked over too. "Wow."

"Hey dad, why couldn't we rent that place?"

"Well, um, uh, okay girls in he north, boys in the south, Bud and Nora are in the loft! Go um, kill each other for the best rooms!" The rule was that twins shared, but me and Jake had a room together anyways. Mike even sometimes came into our room and slept with us. When one of us was having a particularly bad time, we always solved things together, and when one of us was upset, we normally slept together. This time, though, I decided to get my own room, shutting the door behind the first room I came to. I felt kind of bad, I mean Jake knew that a closed door room taken no vacancy, but the rule was never enforced between us. I took off my wrist bands, staring at the faint lines on my wrist. It had been 2 years, and they were still there. Faint, but the memories as clear as ever.

"Sarah GET YOUR BUT DOWN HERE!!" Mike and his wonderful way of calling me.

"COME ON SARAH!!" Now everyone was yelling at me. Minus Jake. I decided to go out the window and come through the front door. Boy that wouldn't surprise them. I slid off of the roof, running around the house and into the door. Every one was staring at me.

"Come on honey, we're going to go to a clambake."

"Mom, we haven't even been here for ten minutes, and we already have plans?"

"Sarah, I don't feel like cooking, and you might meet some friends there."

"Come on Sarah!" Kim and Jess were yelling from the car. I ran from the room, got my board, and jumped in the vehicle. Soon everyone was coming into the vehicle too. Jake sat next to me, but there was a space between us, one I've never felt before. I knew that there would be many complications on this vacation, and I've just made the first one. #1; Getting my own room.

Nigel threw a cookie at us, which landed in the real space. I wasn't talking about that space, but now that it was filled, the other space just got emptier.

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed last time, you are awesome! You all know that you want to press that button underneath me....... please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- Clams, New friends, and another irritated brother**

Jess POV

When we got to the clam bake, I knew we shouldn't be here. I mean, all the girls were dressed in dresses, so, so formal. I exchanged a glance with Kim. She gave me that look that said "No need to say, I already know." I saw that Jake and Sarah were further apart than normal. They seemed to be having silent arguments, or they just miscommunicated. I bet that this was all about the Sarah's own room thing. Its really odd of Sarah to act like that, I mean Jake and Sarah practically shared a room since they could walk and think. I'll have to talk to her.

Kim POV

When we walked in, some guy met us, Tom or Mike or something like that.

"Okay! Kids down stairs is where you'll find the food, parents, the bar is right over there. Go enjoy yourselves!" Jess and I went down to the food.

"I'll have clams please."

"Sorry, there aren't any clams. We have clam _fritters."_

"So this clam bake is clamless? Why not just call it a buffet? You know, sometimes I feel like a stranger in this world," I said turning to Jess.

"I couldn't agree more." We turned our back to the cook, and left him standing in bewilderment.

Jake POV

I couldn't believe that Sarah and I weren't sharing a room. It was absolutely ridiculous. Me, Mike, and Sarah were heading down stairs. Sarah was going on and on about how ridiculous coming to this clambake was. Well, as on and on as Sarah normally goes. She subsided into a stony silence.

Sarah POV

I can't believe I got stuck here. Man I wish I could drive. Drive home that is. Hmm....

Mike finally broke the silence.

"Race you downstairs!"

Me and Jake took off laughing, Mike catching up with us.

"WHOA! YOU GUYS! STOP!!" I had started to fall behind but as I started to speed up, three unhappy girls were coming 'round the corner. Jake and Mike stopped, but if they hadn't when they did, they would've body slammed into the girls.

"Hey!" I said, running up to Jake and Mike. I was looking at the girls. They were definitely unhappy.

"How is it that you guys don't have to dress up?"

"Umm..... Uh...... Well....." we were about to explain that we didn't know it was a formal party, or at least I was, when one of them started eyeing my wrists. Jake and Mike eyed them wearily, they didn't know what was hidden, but they both had their own ideas. The girl stepped forward.

"My name is Hanna." As she held out her hand, I saw she had wristbands on too. The same red blood color as mine.

"This is Tally and Terra. They're sisters"

"Hey" they chorused. Probably annoyed by being ignored, Jake and Mike grew restless.

"Sarah, I thought we were going down stairs. Remember?" Mike gave me an expectant look, Jake turned away and started down the stairs. Mike followed. After five stairs, they glanced back, but I was rooted to the spot.

"Hey where do you live?" I asked abruptly.

"We live down the street, south from here." Hmm, within walking distance. I turned to Jake and Mike, both of which were giving me expectant looks. I wasn't supposed to do this. I wasn't supposed to let my brothers, Jake and Mike out of all of them, walk away without me, and turn the other way, with three girls in dresses. But I would.

"You guys go on. I'll catch up." Their faces looked as if I was sick. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to do this.

"You sure dude?"

"Yeah," I said.

" 'Kay." Jake said flatly. I had just made complication #2.

"Your brothers didn't need to leave you know." Hanna said it so kindly, that if they had heard, they would've stayed.

"They wanted to."

"You wanna get somethin' ta eat?" Tally said.

"Thank gosh! Finally!" Terra exclaimed. " I'm starving!" We ran down to the food, well as fast as they could go without tripping over dresses.

"Hey, do you have any extra clothes? It'll be kinda hard to run like that." I looked at them skeptically, but they just exchanged glances with each other.

"We do, we just had to make sure that you weren't one of those dress up girls, that like it."

"Though we could've told you when we saw how you're dressed."

"Come on," Tally said. "I'm so tired of high heels. I want my sneakers." After they got dressed, we ran all over the place, avoiding their parent's gazes, hiding from my other siblings, and getting food. The time had totally gotten away from me.

"Oh my god!" We were running past a walkway, the same one that had my skateboard on it. "You guys, I'm really sorry, but I've got to go!"

"No problem! I actually need to put my dress back on, my parents are probably looking for me." Hanna exclaimed.

"Yeah same here." Terra said. Come on Tally!"

"Wait, Sarah here's our phone number and e mail addresses."

"Tally did you give her mine?" Hanna called, as she ran off.

"Yeah I did."

"Cool! Thanks!"

"See ya guys!" I ran off too, as Tally and Terra went the other way. I grabbed my board and went speeding down the walkway. At the end I ran into two silent brothers.

**A/N- This chapter is a bit longer, sorry for the short chapters before.......**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4- An argument, a crush, and two drifting brothers**

"Sarah where have you been?!" Mike saw me.

"The time kind of got away from me." I answered.

"So you did notice." Jake said it with a kind of contempt, I've never heard it directed at me before.

"Sarah, you're still gonna hang with us, right?"

"Yeah Mike. I will." Jake was staring at me, like he was looking over a new kid at school.

"You sure dude?"

"Yeah. I will Jake."

There was a hardness in his eyes, like something just flew out of place, like I left a part of me at home.

"Whoa. Jake Baker?"

Jake spun around. "Elliot Murtaugh?" His anger totally forgotten, he turned to me.

"Dude! It's Elliot Murtaugh!" He gave me a look like _stop acting shy. you're never shy!_ I ignored it.

"Hey" I said, but as I looked into his eyes my voice faltered.

"That's Mike." Jake said nodding his head to Mike.

"Hey Mike."

"Thats a cool stick! Can you bang any tricks?" Mike stared at Elliot, awe streaked upon his face.

"Yeah, check 'em out." Elliot rode off, Mike following, then Jake. Seemed to me that Jake would have a new friend here after all. But part of me was all bubbly- wait, Sarah Baker NEVER gets bubbly about a guy. God what is happening to me?

"SARAH HURRY UP!" Jake was shouting, but in the normal, brother sister bond. I jumped on my board and went chasing after them.

**Lorraine POV**

From the balcony, I saw Sarah and Jake "have it out" with each other. Seemed to me like they didn't know how to fight with each other like that. But then I saw a a kid come up to them, like they were long time friends. Recognition was passed around and Jake and Mike took off with the boy. Sarah seemed to lag behind. I laughed to myself, thinking of Sarah and crushes. She never believed me that she would get one, but I think, that she's found one, though only a part of her heart knows it.

**Jake POV**

I couldn't believe Sarah was acting so strange. God, she even seemed shy over a BOY! For crying out loud. I was skating next to Elliot, the boy that made Sarah seem so timid next to.

"SARAH HURRY UP!" I shouted, hopefully she could hear me. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Sarah was catching up. Man, that girl can board. I smiled to myself.

"What'cha smiling at?" Sarah whizzed pass me, skillfully reaching her arm out, enough to push me off balance and make me land in the grass. I could hear her laugh echo, as she caught up with Elliot. I grabbed my board that was scattered across the lawn and raced toward Sarah. But as soon as I was about to push her, firework bangs and screams came from the patio. Looking over, I saw Mark and some kid running towards the lake with spitting fireworks in hand. I watched them land in a boat, and blow it up, and I saw mom bury her head in her hands.

**Kate POV**

I did head count on my kids sitting on the couch. 9....10.....11..... ..... 11. I was missing Sarah. I threw my head up, and took a deep sigh.

"Jake where's Sarah?"

"She's right-oh."

"Exactly. Can you and Mike go find her? Do you need-"

"Mom, its cool. Me and Mike _know Sarah. _We'll be fine." Mike and Jake went running through the doors.

I turned to my other kids. "Can you all be quiet? For me." I turned around, and I saw Tom talking with Jimmy. Oh boy, I thought. Their faces clearly told that they were in an argument.

_Meanwhile...... _**Jake POV**

Sarah was right behind me! She had her skateboard in her hand, and was jogging behind me. She is going to cause a lot of trouble. I could just tell. Mike was running. He looked pretty frantic. For crying out loud the boy was checking trash bins.

"Mike, for the last time, she's not in a trash bin!"

"Sorry" He muttered. We ran a bit further. I stopped mid-running, making Mike slam into my back. Sarah was with those unhappy girls. I sighed. This was going to be a long vacation.

"Yo Sarah!" I yelled. She looked over, said something to the girls, and started running.

"What?"

"Its time to go." Her face fell.

"Looks like this clam bake wasn't so stupid after all." I smirked at her, knowing she'd try and get me. Her face turned stony, and we both started running. By the time we reached the steps we were breathless. We went to the couch where everyone else was sitting. Lorraine had some self-satisfied smirk on her face, though I didn't know what for. Her furtive glances at Sarah gave some sort of clue, but Sarah wasn't noticing.

"Okay, everyone, let's get in the vehicle." Mom was herding us toward the car, and dad was breaking conversation with some guy. He looked pretty irritated. Both of them really. Me, Sarah, and Mike ran to go claim the back seats. My irritation toward Sarah had finally evaporated, but I knew that life was getting its complications, and there was something going on with Sarah. I was absolutely determined to find out what it is.

**A/N~ There you go, the 4th chapter. (I think. ^_^) I know my chapters seem kinda short, but everything looks longer on NeoOffice. Thanks to everyone reviewing and following the story, and I hope to update REALLY soon! **

**Also, I don't think I ever made a disclaimer, so, I don't own cheaper by the dozen, or any of the characters. Just Tally, Terra, and Hanna. But that is now sounding familiar... hmm.........TO BE CONTINUED ~*~*~*~**


	5. Ponderings and a Night Meeting

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Cheaper by the Dozen.**_

**Sarah POV**

When we got home I ran in the house. First thing I did was dial three phone numbers.

_**Heeeyyy, you've reached Hanna on her cell. Chances are its dead or lost, or I may be busy. Leave a message and I'll call back!**_

_Hey Hanna its me, Sarah. I was wondering if you'd want to come to the lake for a bit tomorrow. I'm calling Tally and Terra too. Hope to see you soon!_

_**What's up? You've reached Tally, obviously needing her. Chances are I can't hear my phone, but leave a message and I'll call soon!**_

_Hey Tally its Sarah. I was wondering if you'd want to come to the lake tomorrow to hopefully hang with me and Hanna. Calling Terra too. Bye!_

_**This is Terra's cell. I'm off at someplace where I can't hear myself think, let alone my phone probably. Leave a message and I'll try and get back to you!**_

_Hey Terra, its Sarah. Wondering if you could come to the lake tomorrow, with me, and hopefully Hanna and Tally. Call me back!_

I looked outside, it was pitch black. A glance at the clock told me I should go to bed, and a gut feeling told me I'd be getting up early. I changed into a shirt and sweat pants, and turned out the light. I fell asleep feeling as if the room was empty and quiet, more so than usual.

_**~~~~In Jakes Room~~~~~~**_

**Jake POV**

Ugh. We got home and Sarah just ran to her room, not another word to anyone. She was probably calling those three girls, what's their faces. I figured that since Sarah's light was off, I should go to sleep too. Everyone else was, so I laid in bed, and with thoughts of how close me and Sarah were, I fell asleep.

~~~~~~_** In Mike's Room~~~~~**_

**Mike POV**

"You guys, we're all good. They both fell asleep already." I had cracked my door and went knocking on everyone's door except for Jake's and Sarah's. I sighed. I wanted everything like it used to be, before Sarah started drifting away. I think everyone else did too. They knew to meet in my room, this was half way arranged before we left the club place thing. A few minutes later, everyone (minus Jake and Sarah) were in my room.

"Ugh, Mike, you need to disinfect your room,and throw away all that junk." Jess and Kim were referring to the mess in my floor.

"I realize that, but that's not why we're here." I took a deep breath before going on. "Okay, Sarah thinks she's hiding something really well, to the point that she doesn't even notice that we notice what's going on with her. She's been acting really weird, and-"

"Mike, listen to Jess and I." Kim started, and when I didn't interrupt, she continued. "Sarah could be going through some.......changes." I must have been staring at her weirdly, because she tried to explain. "Mike, I'm saying that Sarah-"

"No. Kim, its not like that. I just know. We all do, even Jake does."

"Then why isn't he here?" Henry questioned. I mean, come on. I may be really young and stuff, but I'm not stupid. Especially when it comes to Jake and Sarah.

"Henry, Jake and Sarah used to be so close, they could tell in an instant when one of them was lying to the other. They're going to remember that. So as hard as Jake tries, Sarah will figure out that we're trying to figure out what she's doing. That's why Jake isn't here." I stared at everyone, daring them to contradict me. They knew I was telling the truth.

"But what are we going to do?" Nigel asked.

"Yeah Mike," Mark hesitated. "We can't use Sarah's tricks against her, that won't work for this."

"You're right. So we're going to go to bed now, have another meeting tomorrow, about the ideas to figure out what's up with Sarah." I stared and found some blank faces. "As in you have tonight and tomorrow to find an idea. And remember, don't tell anyone!" They filed out my door, and went to their own rooms. I sighed, and jumped on my bed. They better not tell anyone about this, and we better figure out what's up with Sarah before she permanently drifted. Sooner than I wanted, I drifted to sleep, with concerned thoughts about my sister. Little did I know, everyone else was thinking the exact same thing.

**.....and VOILA!!!! Le fifth chapter. I hope you all like the story so far........ any ideas are welcome, so please REVIEW!!!!**


	6. Slip Ups and Secrets

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed/is reviewing/hopefully will review...On with the story!!!**

**Sarah POV**

I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, and twisted. There was only one thing to do. But I had vowed to myself I'd never do it. I thought of going into Jake's room, but I swept aside the thought. Extremely out of character right now, I thought. He was still mad, I just knew it. After five more minutes, I couldn't stand it any longer. Just one cut. Then I won't do it again. I tore the blade across my arm, allowing the pain to take over. I shouldn't be doing this. What if they found out? What if, _Jake found out?_ I set the blade down. Crap. I had to walk all the way down the hall to the bathroom, and not let anyone see my wrist. I sighed. Serves me right, I muttered. So stupid, that was plain stupid of me. I went to the bathroom and washed my cut. Luckily, no one saw me. I turned, and ran back to my room. Focused on getting there, I didn't see Henry until I ran into him. He, as an older brother, never overlooked anything. So of course he noticed the state my wrists were in.

"SARAH!" He stage whispered. I clamped my hand over his mouth, not wanting to wake anyone up.

"What is that?!" He eyed my wrists, taking in the damage.

"I-uh-I cut myself on a piece of metal." He didn't buy it.

"I was, I fell out of my bed, and my wrist brushed against my razor, and I cut it." He gave me a look. I ran away, too fast for his hands to hold me still. I ran and locked my door. There was more to my cutting, more reason behind it. I wasn't emo, or suicidal. I needed a distraction. But the secret, the one that started it all, I couldn't let them find out. I hid it well, for a while, but a few months before coming here, my barriers were breaking down. It was my family. They made me want to tell, about everything. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was sure that by looking into Henry's eyes, my siblings knew something was up. But what else did they know? I slipped up once, this one time. I knew that they didn't think I was cutting myself, or, they were in denial about it. I sighed. I had a lock on my door. Pickable, to even Mike, but I locked it just the same. I couldn't take another chance.

**Henry POV**

I knew what I saw. I knew that Sarah, at that moment, was cutting herself. But for how long? Many of the cuts were old, but how old? I should go to Mike, no, go to mom. But Sarah would hate me. She'd kill me in my sleep if I told mom. Well, anyone for that matter, but Mike was a better choice to save my neck. Yes, I'll tell Mike. But not now. The next Sarah meeting. I'd tell them then. I headed back to my room. I was dumbfounded by this. So surprised, I had let Sarah run away. I was scared for her though. She didn't know the importance of this. She could kill herself. I cast away the lingering idea of telling mom. We could handle Sarah. AS her siblings, it was our obligation. But Charlie, Nora, and Lorraine, they weren't at the meeting. We needed their help. And, Jake. I had to run the idea over to him, but Jake should know. He would be the only one to stop Sarah. But as I fell asleep, the feeling that something was left out, never stopped. And it bugged me like hell.


	7. What's Happening?

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and who's keeping up with the story!! I 3 you all!!! Now....ONWARD!**

**Sarah POV**

I woke up, and half of myself expected to see my siblings, hovering over my bed, yelling on about how much danger I was in . But thank god, they weren't there. It was silent in the house, only the sound of rain plinking against the windows resounded in my mind. I ran in the rain, using the excuse that my coaches told me to. But I had a different reason. It calmed me almost, as I ran down streets, past parks and houses. I used to use the time to think, but now, I ran to just run. It was like a regular physical reaction. Oh, its raining, you have to run now. But I liked it all the same. Now, there was no excuse to not go running, to feel the cold wet water hit my skin. I unlocked my door, and tiptoed down the stairs. They wouldn't miss me much, they'd be too self-absorbed with other things. I unhitched the door, and ran outside in my tank top and shorts. I let out a sigh as I started running. Around the lake was my goal, and if that wasn't possible, a shortcut. I let the rain soak my clothes, and I let my mind wander. I came back, after what felt like only fifteen minutes. I was sorry that it ended so quickly until I came home, and found how long I had been gone. Three hours. My family was sitting on the porch, staring at my soaking wet body.

"Sarah where have you been?!"

"Running...." I had to say this cautiously, I didn't know what they would start to think.

"Honey, I know your coaches tell you to do this to build, whatever you build by doing this, but I'm sure you don't have to practice during vacation."

"Tell that to Jess and Kim about their scholastic decathlon." I scoffed at my mom, continuing.

"Tell that to Henry, next time he plays his clarinet!" I was irritated, I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I stomped into my room, taking my hair out of its messy ponytail. I sighed. This was going to be a long vacation, and I couldn't wait to get back home. I wanted everything to be normal, but I couldn't, there was just something about it, something I couldn't tell, yet it was always getting harder.

I sighed, laying down on my bed. I was so tired.

**Jake POV**

Jeez, Sarah really felt crappy today. Henry was giving Sarah furtive looks, but when he saw me staring at him he stopped. Even everyone else was acting weird, taking in Sarah's anger more cautiously than usual. Kim whispered to Jess, and they both went to follow Sarah upstairs. Mike had his thinking face on, and everyone else looked worried. I mean, I was too, but they usually never worried about Sarah like this. The only one that seemed relatively normal was mom, who went in to cook. Or clean. Whichever. A scream erupted from upstairs and the thumping of running feet kept getting louder. Jess and Kim stuck their heads back outside, breathless.

"Sarah's mad."

"No, really Sherlock?" Henry snickered. Everyone looked uneasy, and I went to go find Sarah.

"Knocking on her door, after two minutes and no yelling, a muffled come in came from her room. She looked up, and saw that it was me, and threw her head onto her pillow again.

"Sarah-" She gave me a muffled harrumph.

"Sarah, what's wrong?" She didn't say anything, so instead of walking away, I sat next to her. She sat up, taking her head out of the pillow.

"Nothing."

"Yeah right. Spill." She sighed, and I could see a tear threatening to fall. I knew she was hiding something.

"You were hiding something too Jake. In the car, right before we got here. Tell me what it was, and I'll tell you-as much as I can." I looked at her. This was new. She never broke down, she never hid anything from me. Ever.

"I was just thinking about we seemed to be drifting Sarah. Befire we came here. And I was hoping that the vacation would make it better. But it seemed to just make it worse." I looked away. She looked at me for a while, and stood up.

"Hey! You said-"

"I know what I said." She threw the pillow at me and it whacked me in the face. But I can't tell you here. No one else can know." She looked kinda scared, but when she noticed my stare she turned away.

"Why?"

"Jake- Don't say anything to anyone. Meet me by the lake. Later. Like around midnight. Everyone should be asleep by then." She left the room abruptly, when I finally took a good look around her room. I found her razor, on her bedstand. That's odd. Something hit my brain, like a memory. It had to do with one of my friends.....He had a sharp object next to his stand too.....Oh god. I silently prayed that it wasn't what I thought it was, and went back downstairs. I was going to figure out what was happening to Sarah, if it was the last thing I do.

**Alright, I know I haven't updated in a while, and its only because I've been so busy. I hope to start updating sooner! Bbye!**


	8. Thought I could trust you

**Sarah POV**

I was so stupid! I can't believe that I'm gonna tell Jake now! What's gonna happen! I sighed as I went down the stairs. Talking to Hanna seemed like a really good idea right now. I passed my siblings on the porch, and with a quick goodbye I was gone again. I ran to Hanna's house, and saw her playing checkers. Looking more bored than ever.

"Hanna!" She looked up, and her face brightened.

"Sarah!" She quickly asked the person she was playing with if she could go, and with a glance at me, they reluctantly nodded.

"How are you?" She bounded up to me, and practically pushed me towards the woods once her family member wasn't looking.

"They don't like the real you, do they?" Her face hardened.

"No. Come on. I have a good club house place in the woods. Something tells me you need to talk." I silently nodded. I could trust her, but I wasn't about to tell her everything before I told Jake. That would just complicate things. As we sat down on the mossy floor, she looked at me expectantly. I took a breath. This really wasn't what I wanted to do right now.

"Hanna- If you had a really big secret, and you promised someone really special that you'd tell, even though its really bad, what would you do?" She sat, deep in thought.

"I would truth slant." I nodded. I could do that.

"I would do that just because I wouldn't want them to get hurt. But if something changed, when you could tell them, I would explain to them the whole story. Does that help?" I nodded silently. It seemed easy enough, but I knew it would be much harder. Its rare when Jake can't tell I'm truth slanting. Very rare. This wasn't gonna be pretty. Hanna opened her mouth to say something.

"HANNA!" A shrill, high pitched voice ruined the silence. She flinched, a look of annoyance passing on her face.

"I have to go. Is there anything else you'd want to talk about?"

"Um...yeah. Do you think that the twins and you would like to hang out sometime?" She smiled.

"That sounds cool." She turned, and I got up to follow her.

"Oh and Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let Tally and Terra hear you calling them that. They don't really like it." I nodded, silently laughing to myself.

~*~

**Jake POV**

"Hey." I had checked my watch for about the 56th time when I turned around to see Sarah shifting her weight beside me. I looked at her. She had definitely changed. She wore wristbands all the time now, she became quieter, and I could see that she had been stressing lately. There was that Elliot kid now. And those three girls. That acted like her. She had definitely changed. And it scared me. Because I didn't know what was happening to Sarah. And that was the most changed part about it all. Our relationship.

"Jake-" She took a breath; it looked like she would burst with information. Information that I would have known by now, if it were a year ago. If she hadn't changed. I looked at her silently.

"What would you do, if you had something really important that you couldn't tell anyone. Something that truly changed your life forever, something that you can't help, and if anyone ever found out, you'd be scared about what would happen?" I looked at her. She seemed to shrink, and suddenly she was the Sarah I knew, the one that rarely needed someone, but when she did it was me. Not mom, not dad. But me. And that made me feel really special. I moved closer to her, and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her like we used to, to comfort each other when a day went really bad. This was hard for her, I could tell. I could see what it was doing to her.

"Jake, mom isn't my mom." I chuckled, not realizing what she was saying. When it finally dawned on me, I took a step back.

"What do you mean?" My voice was guarded now, and Sarah could tell too.

"I mean, I mean that we only share one parent." She looked down. I knew she was distressed, but I couldn't comfort her. Not right now.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I had raised my voice, and she took a step back.

"I'm saying th-that dad isn't with just mom. There's someone else." She said this bitterly. "And that someone is my real mom."

"How long?" I used my words to cut now. She looked back up, and went to move toward me. I stepped back, keeping the distance.

"How long Sarah? How long did you know, and didn't tell me?" She didn't say anything. Just stood there.

"Are you going to say anything Sarah?! Are you just going to stand there? What's wrong with you? Eveer since you changed- Don't look like that! You think you're hiding something, but Sarah, you did it really badly! I knew something was going on! And you know what hurt the most Sarah? That you didn't tell me. That you didn't let me catch you when you fell. You let the razor catch you. Yeah, I guessed that too. You know what? I thought you could trust me! I thought I could trust you! What the hell were you thinking?" I turned away and started to run back to the house.

"JAKE WAIT!!" I could hear the tears in her voice, I could almost feel her sobs in my chest. But I kept running and I ran, I ran to the house not bothering to look back. Sarah really had changed, and I could see that. I knew I should be comforting her, but I needed to grasp things first. I'd talk to her later. When we both calmed down. I opened the door and went to slam it, until I thought better of it. Easing the door shut, I went to my bedroom and laid down on my bed. And for the first time in long time, I cried.

**Okay, I really didn't want to write this chapter, for a few reasons. I didn't know how it would turn out, and I didn't want to portray Jake like this. I hope this isn't character derailment. But sadly, it was nessecary for the story to go on. And the story must go on. So. Reviews are loved, and I would like to thank those for reviewing!! THANK YOUU!**


	9. Ideas and Answers

**Sarah POV**

He left. He really left. He left me.

"JAKE WAIT!" I screamed something like that to him, but when the words left my mouth I already knew he wouldn't turn back. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and sobs were racking my chest. I turned. I didn't think he would act this distressed, I mean, I knew he would be mad. But not like this. 'Well Sarah, you never did tell him.' My conscience was mocking me now. I turned, wiped my face with the front of my shirt, and ran. I ran to no place in particular. I just wanted to get away. Dad didn't know that I knew about him. But my mom did. She told me. And I looked just like her. I could see the truth, no proof was needed. She said that dad would get mad if I told him I knew, so I stayed quiet. There was almost something lethal about her. I didn't know what. But it was then that I decided to see her again. I wanted to see my real mom. And I truly hated myself for that. 'She's not your mom Sarah,' My conscience spoke again. 'She doesn't love you.' No. That wasn't true. She had to love me. Mom wouldn't love me anymore. I'm going to be the bastard child to her. I wanted answers though. I was absolutely desperate for answers.

**Jake POV**

I didn't know how long I cried. I just knew that it hadn't changed anything. I quickly dried my eyes. Sometimes Mike would come into my room if he had a bad dream, and tonight, with my luck would be one of those nights. I got up from my bed and walked to the window. I took slow and deliberate steps, I didn't want to look out. I was afraid of what I would see. I could handle almost anything, as long as Sarah was with me. Sarah and Mike. But one thing I couldn't handle was Sarah breaking down. Not now at least. 'She's your sister Jake. Go comfort her.' I mentally shook my conscience out of my brain. Reaching the window, I looked out. I didn't see Sarah. She went back inside, I thought. I wanted answers. I wanted to know why Sarah couldn't trust me. It was like she thought I'd tell. It was like she thought I'd actually tell her secret. I knew that dad didn't know she knew. That much I could see. I needed to talk to Mike, but I was afraid of any trauma this would cause him. I was willing to take the chance, because I thought that he would actually want to know. After all, me and Sarah and him are a trio. Leaning my head against the window, I closed my eyes. I could feel myself slipping, my body crumpling to the floor, but I didn't want to go back into bed. I stayed that way when I finally drifted off to sleep. I was desperate. Desperate for answers, for Sarah, and for the way things used to be.

**Mike POV**

I looked around at my brothers and sisters again. We were in Jess and Kim's room, after they complained that mine was too messy.

"Soo...any ideas?"

"I think Sarah's cutting herself." Henry announced from the foot of Jessica's bed. Jess and Kim nodded.

"It makes sense."

"Tons of sense if you think about it."

"Alright, alright. So let's say Sarah is cutting herself. We now need to know _why _people. Any ideas?"

"Um. She could secretly love Jake but know that it can never happen so she sunk into clinical depression."

"Wow Henry. I didn't even know you knew what clinical depression meant." Kim said. Henry was about to make a retort until I cut in.

"Any other, _mildly sensible, _ideas?" I stressed the middle part of my sentence, mentally cringing at the image of Jake and Sarah kissing.

"That isn't true. Besides, I think Sarah likes Elliot. But Jess, I suppose you're reason is mildly sensible." I scowled.

"Henry, do you have any ideas?"

"None at all."

"Guys, these meetings won't be of any use, at all, if we can't even come up with a few simple ideas!" I put my head in my hands. Sarah was a pro at this stuff, and Jake, the second in command. Of course, no one wants to take me seriously.

"Why don't we sleep on it?" I nodded frustratedly. We weren't getting anywhere. As I shut my door gently I felt salty water stream down one of my cheeks. Wiping it away quickly, another fell as I thought more and more about Sarah and Jake, and Sarah's razor. I knew Henry was right. And so did everyone else. But why did Sarah have to do this? I felt so in the dark. I decided I would talk to Jake. He deserved to know that we were trying to figure out what was wrong. Maybe it was a trio thing though. I would talk to him in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sarah POV**

Answers. The first word that came to mind when I woke up. I stretched, groaning. I fell asleep on a stupid rock. I looked at the house, it was still dark inside. I gently opened the door, and crept up to my room. I looked at the clock. 5:30 am. I pulled the covers over my legs, knowing that soon, Dad would blow a whistle, and make us get up. At 5:45 am. What kind of dad does that?

Dad.

Would he answer the questions? Like, why am I here? Why did he never feel the need to tell me? Where was my mom now? What was her last name? Her first name, one of the few things I know, is Teresa. Do I have any real brothers and sisters? Am I an only child?

I met her a few months ago. I was at the skate park, when she walked by.

"_That's good Hallie, but you're never going to beat this!" I had just adjusted to my new life, meeting my new friend, Hallie. She liked almost everything I did, especially skateboarding. And she wasn't a prep. Thank. God. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a woman about a head taller than me stop abruptly. I turned around, only to feel her eyes on me. Facing her, I walked over, to ask her what her problem was. She closed the distance rapidly, grabbing my wrist, and bending down to my level. I opened my mouth to scream bloody murder, when she started babbling. Like those crazy people do, that lose their minds in the movies because they're being eaten alive by guilt. Or craziness. Something like that._

"_Sarah. Sarah sweetie. Sarah." I caught my name, and I just pulled away harder. I yanked my wrist, wincing at the pain, but she only tightened her grip._

"_Sarah, sweetheart, it's okay. You don't remember me? Didn't he tell you? I thought-No, he would tell you. Maybe you just weren't ready. Sarah, sweetie, remember me, please, I'm your mommy. Please remember Sarah, please._

"_Let GO!" I screamed, finally finding my voice, and my strength to yank my wrist out of her grip. I scrambled away, and her face fell. Hallie pulled me off the ground, ready to pull me away if she came back. But she just walked away. Bending down, she picked up her purse. She fished a piece of paper out, and dropped it on the ground. Looking at me pointedly, she walked away quickly, ducking her head at all the disapproving parents in the park._

_Before I left, ignoring Hallie's protests, I picked up the paper. _

_**Teresa, 432 – 6751**_

TWEEETTTT! Tweeeeeeet! Tweet! Tweet!

"Rise and shine campers! Time to get up, and enjoy the day!" I groaned, and opened my door. I ran to get the first shower, the warm water, really. I always felt better, my mind always cleared, when took a hot shower.

I turned the water on, feeling the soothing warmth, or, as warm as the water got. I looked at my wrist. The cut from a night or two ago was still there. I hoped it would go away, I didn't do it that deep.

**Jake POV**

I woke up to trumpet noises. Or something like that. Groaning, I threw the covers back over my head. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to see Sarah. Or dad. Or mom. Anyone. Sarah especially. I heard the shower turn on. Eventually, I stood up, and stretched, then made my way downstairs.

"Hey Jake! How about putting that tire swing up today?" I took one look at my dad, which was all it took to make everything that Sarah had said come rushing back to my head.

"Sorry dad. Elliot asked if I could come over and jet-ski today." Lie. Liar. I shush my brain, and grab some cereal. I sit down at the table, and watch my dad climb the stairs to wake up late sleepers. The water turns off, and a 'Finally!' echoes off the walls. Ten minutes later, the person I really didn't want to see came bounding downstairs. I watched her pour her cereal and milk, quickly looking down when she sat at the opposite end of the table. Her eyes stay on the table, until she's done eating. They move to the floor. Refusing to say anything, I watch as she throws her bowl in the sink.

Without a word, she walks out the door. A crumpled piece of paper falls out of her pocket. When I'm sure she's gone, I dart around the table and grab the paper. I stare at a name and a number, with a feeling that I know exactly who the woman is.

_**Teresa, 432 – 6751**_

**

* * *

Alright, this chapter had been completely redone! Now, for any of you that read the first draft, I know that this was completely rewritten! It was because I wasn't exactly sure how to incorporate all of that into the story anymore. So, instead, you get this chapter, which will most likely turn the plot in a different, more organized direction!**


	11. Author'sNoteIMPORTANTNOT HIATUS NOTE

_**Okay! This author's not is not what you guys think it is! (If you think it's me telling you I'm on hiatus) No, I was reading my story today and found that some big pieces are missing, at least, in my mind they are. They're things that would make the story make more sense.**_

**SO**

**I am going to redo a couple of chapters. Maybe add one or two in between. I'll let you know what these are when I'm all done, so you can read back if you want. (It'll probably help.)**

**So if you're curious on whether I'm finishing this story or not, this is what I'll be doing.**

**ALSO**

**Now is a great time to add any feedback for past chapters, what seemed a little choppy, what had too much detail, what chapters had a lot of grammatical errors, etc.**

**THANK YOU so much for reading!**


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